Delirium
by Sora-Hyouryuu
Summary: After a particularly scarring mission, Natsu begins to descend to a state of instability. As his health, both mental and physical, deteriorates, he realizes that fighting himself is impossible to do. Especially when there are others against him, as well. "Isn't it completely and utterly ridiculous how life seems to work against you?"
1. Promise

**(A/N):**

**So here we are, a ****_NEW STORY!_**

**Get ready for some ****_multi-chaptered angsty goodness,_**** people! No 5 chapters here! A good angsty long(ish) story.**

**So, I had asked my readers for ideas on what they want to see for angst. I said I would accept two. (I only got two)**

**ANYWAY, I agreed, and they gave me points and ideas. So now, since I have the rest of this week off, I will begin WRITING!**

**So basically, this comes in a few months after the Grand Magic Games fiasco that's going on right now. There will be very minor references to it, but there will be references in this chapter. I'm not going to make up some type of ending, or anything, just going to talk about one thing.**

**Just one thing.**

**Also, there is a small reference to one of my other stories in this chapter. Let's see who can spot it...**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Fairy Tail, no main character would have died. Damn you, Mashima-Sensei, pullin' a George R.R. Martin on us!(I'm kidding, I still love you)  
**

_**Rated M for dark themes and language, nothing else!**_

* * *

It was just three months after the frenzy that was supposed to be the Grand Magic Games, and things had finally calmed down. Missions were piling up, being as Fairy Tail regained their title of _"Number 1 guild in Fiore"_, and the guild was partying like there was no tomorrow. Lucy remembered the morning after party, the way they partied all day and all night.

It _was_ Fairy Tail, after all.

She loved the guild with all her heart. She couldn't really believe that they had saved both the present and the future at the same time. It was an odd thing-_time_, that is-and how something you do now could create a whole plethora of possibilities for just the next day.

It was _unfathomable_.

But whenever she found herself thinking about it too much, she would remember the Future Lucy. Her death was scary, no doubt about it. But then she realized that future was gone; and she didn't want to die anytime soon.

She wanted to live a long life for Lucy. The future that died so she could keep hers.

She promised herself that she would keep on smiling, for the sake of Future Lucy.

* * *

Natsu trudged to the guild. Alone, and in a bad mood.

The night before had been full of nightmares and restlessness. He had been sleeping perfectly fine, these last months, so he couldn't understand why his sleep was so disturbed.

And the worst part was that all that sleeplessness was centered around the death of Lucy.

He knew it wasn't the Lucy from his world, rather, the Lucy who died was part of a future that doesn't exist anymore. But it was still her, and she still died.

It hurt.

He'd be lying if he said he felt nothing when she died. It felt like his heart had constricted. It was like he couldn't breathe. His chest seemed to tighten, as his mind went haywire for a reason he couldn't understand. He wondered if it always felt this way to see a person die.

Or did it just apply to Lucy?

He didn't know, and he _really_ didn't want to find out.

He made it to the guild, which was noisy, as usual. He barely muttered a word to anyone, just wanting to sit down at the bar and eat something, to get his mind off his morose thoughts.

"Hi Natsu!"

_And_ there she was.

Natsu turned in his seat, only to see a Lucy jogging over, a smile on her face. Instantly, he brightened, because at least this Lucy was safe.

"Hey, Lucy," he said back, "What's up?"

Lucy jogged up to him, placing herself in the stool next to him.

"Well, I came here to eat breakfast, and I kinda feel like going on a job."

"Oh," Mirajane said as she came in from the guild kitchen,"Good morning, Natsu, Lucy."

"Mornin'."

"Good morning, Mira!"

Mira smiled at the two,"Natsu, where's Happy?"

"He came in earlier."

"That's weird," Lucy said, genuinely curious,"You guys always come in together."

"I was tired, I slept in." As if on cue, he yawned.

"Oh, dear. Well, I'll get you two some breakfast," Mira said, before retreating back into the kitchen.

Lucy looked at him, taking in the way he slouched over the counter, his eyes half lidded a tired expression.

"Hm," was all Lucy could say, before she went on, "Well, I kinda wanted to go on a mission. Maybe we can go tomorrow, if you feel up for it?"

Natsu nodded, then rested his head on the counter."I just wanna sleep now," He yawned," Couldn't sleep at all last night."

"What happened?"

Waving a hand at her, he responded vaguely,"Nothin' much. Just couldn't sleep."

Lucy hummed, curious, but decided to drop the subject, not wanting to pry.

* * *

That night, Natsu was in his hammock, wide awake. Every time he tried to sleep, an image of a bleeding Lucy would appear, and he would open his eyes all over again. It was tedious, and really aggravating him at the moment.

"Happy," the boy whispered, checking to see if the cat was still awake. But when no response was heard, he sat up, sneaking towards the door. He stepped out into the cool October air, and made his way to Lucy's house.

During his walk, he thought about his dreams. They weren't entirely like the moment Future Lucy died. Each one depicted a different way Lucy could die. When he woke up, he would always think about her death. While she had saved a life, she had died in the process. It was a lot to handle for Natsu, considering the way he reacted. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been so... so _livid_. His own rage _consumed_ him.

If this Lucy were to die...

He couldn't even _begin_ to imagine what he'd do.

Before he even realized it, he could already spot the blond girl's house. He increased his pace, jumping up to the ledge under her window. He opened it and slipped inside with ease, landing on her bed softly. Just in front of him, Lucy slept with her back to him, unstirred by his weight on the bed. He laid himself down, and this time she did move, rolling over so she faced him. Propping his head up on his hand, he leaned on his elbow, watching her sleep.

He was glad she didn't die.

When he really thought about it, he realized that if this Lucy had died, Future Lucy would have disappeared too, and then 'Lucy' would be gone forever. So, in that way, he was slightly glad for her sacrifice. He would've never been able to see the girl again if it hadn't been for Future Lucy taking the blade. But her death was still no happy matter.

At that moment, Lucy's eyes snapped open.

Natsu almost screamed, but didn't get a chance to because Lucy did first. The piercing shriek was followed by a strong kick that sent him tumbling off the end of the bed. Disoriented from the noise and the hit-which was to his _face_, might I add-it took a few seconds to regain his bearings and sit up. The surprised girl had a brush and keys at hand, ready to defeat the intruder. But once she realized who it was, her panic quickly melted away to a tired anger, her raised arms sagging.

"Natsu, what are you doing here?" Lucy sighed.

Natsu climbed back on the bed, grinning apologetically. "My bad, I just couldn't sleep."

With another sigh, she said,"That doesn't explain why you're here, though."

"I get my best sleep in your bed," Natsu said happily.

"_Ugh_," Lucy sighed once more, before asking,"Well, why couldn't you sleep?"

Natsu expression darkened for just a moment-_the girl didn't miss this_-then his carefree grin came back,"Ah, I dunno," he lied,"anyways, can I sleep here?"

"Well it's not you're gonna leave if I say no," she muttered back,"Plus, you weren't even sleeping, you were staring at me like a creep!"

"Hey, I'm not a creep!"

"Then, why were you staring at me while I sleep?!" Lucy retorted, before shaking her head," And stop avoiding my question! Why couldn't you sleep?"

Natsu looked down."Look, it really doesn't matter..." he mumbled.

"Obviously, it does, since it kept _you_, _of all people_, from sleeping," she crossed her arms over her chest,"Now spill."

Natsu continued to stare at the wrinkled bed sheets, contemplating. He could tell her, of course, but what would she say? The dragon-slayer wasn't good at expressing his feelings and problems with words.

Well, what did that matter? She _was_ his best friend, she would understand, right?

"Well," he began after a short silence,"I've been had a bad dream yesterday, and I couldn't sleep. Same thing today."

"About what?" Lucy asked.

"About..." Natsu started, then sighed, gathering his thoughts," About Future Lucy, when she died. And you dying, too."

The celestial mage looked at him, not saying a word, unsure how to respond. He paused, having so much to say, but not knowing exactly _how_ to say it all.

"And," he continued," I just-I-I don't know what to feel. She died to keep you alive, but she still died. She was still you, Lucy, and it really hurt, and I don't know whether to feel glad that you lived, or feel sad since you technically died, too. I can't-I can't even imagine what I would've done if it had been _you_ in her place, if _you_ had-had..." his voice cracked and he swallowed past the lump forming in his throat.

Lucy understood what he meant. She didn't have any words to say, so she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around the guy in front of her. She put her forehead up to his, looking straight into his eyes, as he stared back in mild shock.

"Well, her sacrifice wasn't for nothing," she said softly, as if speaking in a louder tone would shatter the moment.

"She wanted me to live," the girl smiled," To _save_ the future. To start a _new_ future, a _better_ one that what she had seen. I wouldn't want to mess up her wish by being sad about her death, no matter how much it hurt to see her die. I wanna smile for her, to honor her, and not dwell on the '_what if_'s of that day."

She pulled back, her smile warm. "So, there's no need to think about it anymore, 'kay?"

Natsu stared on, slightly surprised by her sweet words, before a wide grin took over his face. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight bear hug.

"Right." he whispered.

And at that moment, he promised himself that he would keep smiling too, and ward off all those bad thoughts.

And he promised that he would protect her and make sure her future would be bright and beautiful, just as she was.

"Luce?"

"Hm?"

"_Thanks_."

* * *

**(A/N): AWWWWWWWW~~~~~**

**I think this came out nice and cute. I really _can_ write fluff.**

_**Huh.**_

_**Who woulda thought, eh?**_

**Well, get ready, because-_unlike Mashima-sensei_-I'm warning you that there will be intense angst in the near future. Maybe it's gonna be in the next chapter. Maybe not. Who knows? *cackles evilly***

**A special shout-out to _iohexa_, who gave me the idea. Plot credit goes to her, I only wrote it out.**

**I HOPE YOU ENJOYED, iohexa-san! (Or did you want an intense beginning, because I coulda thought of something to begin the story strongly.)  
**

**~Cool Noodles in Awesome Sauce~**


	2. Down

**(A/N): Hey, you guys!**

**Guess what?  
**

**I had 20+ emails about my new story! I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but to me, that's AMAZING.**

**I got such great reviews, and so many people favorited and followed my story!**

**I just feel so utterly euphoric!**

**To all those who favorited and followed and reviewed for this story, it would be an honor if you checked out my other stories! (who am I kidding, I'm just using this story to advertise for my other stories)**

**So, anyway, here goes the second chapter! Starts lighthearted, but that doesn't last long. Muehehhehe...  
**

* * *

The next morning, Lucy could tell Natsu was in a better mood. No dark circles, no slouching, and a bright grin plastered on an uncomfortably close face was what she woke up to. She had screamed to the top of her lungs, punching whoever it was-which she later figured it was Natsu-right in the face.

The morning was a blur of preparation and packing. Lucy, of course, had invited Gray and Erza the day before, so they had begun packing for the mission as well. Natsu had gone home with a bruise on his cheek, but a smile on his face, explaining to a confused Happy what happened the night before and that morning.

With that, the team met up at the train station. Wendy was still sleeping that morning, and since no one had it in them to disturb the cute girl, they forced Natsu onto the train without treatment. Ignoring his protests, they put him in his own booth with Happy as company. None of them wanted to get barfed on, and that was highly plausible when Natsu was on any vehicle.

So here he was, a bucket on the floor next to him, his world spinning and swimming.

"Hey, Natsu?"

Said boy swallowed past the bile building in his throat, groaning out,"Yeah," he gagged again, and swallowed,"H-Happy?"

"What were those dreams about?" the blue cat asked,"Were they that bad?"

After a few moments of dry-heaving into the bucket, he was able to respond,"Yeah, they were bad. They were about Lucy dying." He'd figured since Happy was practically his son, it wouldn't hurt to tell him, however blunt he made it sound.

Happy gasped,"Lucy won't die right?!" he asked frantically.

The sick man chuckled dryly,"No, Happy, she won't die. Lucy told me that."

"Oh, thank god..." the exceed sighed, relieved.

"Yeah- _mhfff_!"

Natsu retched into the bucket once more.

* * *

After the torturous train ride(Natsu's words) they visited their hotel, to drop off their luggage, and talked to their client, who explained more about their job.

There was a dark guild called 'Night Lament' who was terrorizing the city, Benevele. The client, Daniel, was a rich man living in the city, wanted the guild leader subdued and captured, turned into the Magic Council. The pay would be hefty, but the job would be difficult. Of course, they weren't getting to the master without taking care of their members.

"Let's go!" Natsu shouted, running into the forest. Erza reached forward, grabbing hold of the end of the excited boy's scarf, and yanking him back.

"Natsu," she said sternly,"we're not going now."

"Aww, why?"

Gray answered for the redhead."Because, dumbass, we gotta wait for them to come out. He said no one knew where their guild is, so we gotta lure 'em out. Why don't you try thinking for once."

"What was that, bastard?!"

"Gray's right," Lucy interjected,"we have to wait until night-time, which is the only time they'll come out."

Natsu stayed quiet, internally simmering at the fact that Lucy agreed with that Ice Prick.

"Fine..." He muttered after a while.

* * *

"Natsu, wait!"

Said boy charged into the dark of the forest, his cat following after him. Lucy continued to walk, but she wanted to sprint after him. They were supposed to stick together! Erza said so herself, dragging Gray off in a different direction.

Oh, she was going to be _pissed_.

'_Oh, well_,' Lucy thought with a sigh, knowing he'd probably find something first, so she'll just catch up when he does. It's not like he would be quiet about it...

So the girl continued forward, unaware of the figures following her.

* * *

Natsu was on his hands and knees, panting.

"Give up yet?"

The dragon-slayer looked up to his enemy, glare harsh."Not yet!" He lunged forward, aiming a kick to the man's side, to which the man dodged skillfully.

After he'd left Lucy, the pink-haired man had run into an enemy. The person had tried to attack first, but he was able to dodge. A battle had ensued, but Natsu was becoming exhausted, Espcially

"Damn it! Just take the hit already!" Natsu yelled.

The man just laughed, throwing a large beam of black at him. Natsu pivoted his foot, just barely missing it.

"You sound pretty confident. I should wipe that dumb smirk right off your face!" he yelled, throwing his fist towards the man. The dark mage leaned to the left to dodge, then brought his leg up, kicking the pink-haired man in his stomach. He flew back, his back hitting a tree hard. Winded, he coughed, struggling to take in air and stand up.

"Come on, Natsu!" Happy shouted, diving down to distract the man. He grabbed the cat's tail, and held him up, pointing him towards Natsu.

"Let Happy go!" he yelled, still trying to get up. Happy clawed at the man's hand, trying to get himself free.

The mage aimed his hand at the cat, the dark magic gathering in his hand.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" With a sudden burst of adrenaline, Natsu stood, running towards the man.

The magic shot out.

* * *

"Let's go, Loke!"

"Yes!"

Lucy and the celestial spirit charged forward, fighting off the mages. Lucy regretted not catching up to Natsu, and now she was left all alone. It's not that she couldn't take care of herself, she just didn't like having to face all these men by herself. Especially not with the way some of them were eyeing her body.

Lucy brandished her whip to keep 2 guys away from her, and then turned and grabbed a man's arm, flinging him into a group of other guys.

"Lucy!" She turned at the call, and saw Loke running towards her, a panicked look on his face.

"Be careful!" he yelled,"One of these guys-"

Suddenly, the blond was hit by bright shot of magic. It threw her back, her leg landing in an awkward position.

The lion spirit ran up to her, crouching next to her.

"Are you okay?!" he asked frantically.

"Yeah, I'm- Loke!" Lucy suddenly shoved the spirit to the side, an odd looking magic hurtling towards the two. She had pushed him aside so he wouldn't get hit, but wasn't able to dodge herself.

The magic hit her instead, but the lion spirit began to disappear. He looked at her in shock, before falling to his knees.

"Loke, what's happening?!"

It hit her, suddenly, before he could speak, that someone here could cancel magic. Leo disappeared in a poof of golden light.

Now she was all alone.

Lucy looked up as the men began to surround her, shadowed faces grinning maliciously.

* * *

Natsu howled in pain, writhing as the shadowy knife was plunged into his shoulder.

"Not so mighty now, huh, Salamander..." The mage, named Keiro, said.

"N-Natsu," a debilitated Happy mumbled from somewhere behind him.

"Damn it," Natsu wheezed out, exhausted and beaten.

"Hm," Keiro hummed, the sound mocking," I wonder how your little girlfriend is doing? Lucy, I think it was?"

The dragon-slayer stiffened, his breath coming out in ragged pants. His face darkened, pupils narrowing to slits as he snarled out,"_Don't touch her_."

"Oh," the man chuckled,"I'm not doing anything to her. It's my guild you need to worry about." Natsu growled, trying to get up again.

"But," he continued,"I kinda wanna join in the fun." The pink-haired man didn't have a chance say anything before Keiro disappeared.

He had a feeling he knew where the mage was going.

"Happy, you okay?"

"Aye." As if they both knew what the other was thinking, Happy summoned his wings, grabbing Natsu and flying up. He flew until they had a birds-eye view of the forest, then Natsu looked around, his movements almost frantic.

"Do you see her, Happy?!"

"Aye!" With one swift movement, the cat began his descent. Natsu looked at the spot Happy was diving towards, only to see a giant lump of moving bodies. He couldn't tell what was going on in the middle of it all. As he got closer, he realized the scents lingering in the air, and it was coming from the mass of people. Out of all the mixing smells, two scents drove his mind into a frenzy, and his heart dropped like a rock into his stomach.

Lucy's scent. And blood.

"Hurry!"

"Aye!" The cat was almost diving towards the ground, when suddenly a black shadow slammed into them, and they plummeted. They hit the forest floor with a boom, Happy knocked unconscious with the impact. Natsu was dizzy, head pounding and vision filled with black spots.

He couldn't move anymore.

He looked up, and saw Keiro looming over him, smiling mockingly. The two scents from earlier were so strong that it made him want to vomit; he always felt this way when the girl's light vanilla scent was mixed with the strong copper stench of blood.

Maybe it was just him, but the smell was like _torture._

Still looking down at him, the dark mage yelled towards his guild mates, "Let her go! Let's _break_ him." Natsu didn't understand what he meant by that.

They did as he said, it was only now that he'd realized she had been quiet.

She'd let out no sound. _At all_.

She'd taken it all.

Lucy was _strong_.

She emerged from the crowd, looking beaten and bruised, bleeding profusely. Her face visibly brightened, with both happiness and worry as she stumbled and limped her way towards him, calling his name. He could only watch with wide eyes, relieved yet still fearing she would faint at any moment.

She was just out of arms reach, when suddenly, Keiro appeared behind her.

And Natsu didn't have a chance to say anything before a sword, long and sharp, pierced through the right side of her abdomen.

She looked down, a look of confusion mixed with horror. The sword was yanked out, blood spurting, and her knees gave out just the same. She looked up at him, reaching her arm out, tears falling.

She fell forward, her fingers barely brushing his.

_Not moving, not breathing, no, no, it can't be, she's not breathing, SHE'S NOT BREATHING!_

His mind was shutting down, and he'd realized, just at the last moment, _just_ before his world fell apart.

_He'd broken his promise in less than a day._

* * *

**(A/N):**

**This is pretty much a happy birthday present to me, today. I had a celebration, and I would have worked on this earlier if it hadn't been for that. I turned 15 today! Yay!**

**Anyway, don't kill me, yet, because the next chapter is on it's way. I took my last test today, so this week is left for _FANFICTION!_**

_**HURRAY!**_

**I'm horrible at fight scenes, by the way.**

**Hope you all enjoyed!**

**~Cool Noodles in Awesome Sauce~**


	3. Break

**(A/N):**

**So, did ya enjoy the last chapter? I know, I'm horrible at battle scenes.  
**

**I changed my pen name people! But don't worry, it's still the same me!**

**Now before you jump to conclusions, let me assure you that you will hear some good news.**

**Thanks for your support with this story!**

**Now onto the chapter!**

**Oh, and from now on, I will try to create a chapter summary, as to provide a short explanation of the title of the chapter, and what it means for the chapter.**

**You shall see it below.**

* * *

**__****{They broke him, no doubt. Nothing would** ever be the same.}  


* * *

They came as bits and pieces, shattered memories. Natsu was trying to connect them, make them whole. In some spots, they were blank. White, devoid of event._ What happened in those parts? _

He remembered Lucy falling to the ground. Was it just his imagination, or was she not breathing?

He had forced himself to stand, sinking back to his knees twice, before he finally swayed and stumbled into a standing position, his head hanging. His memories seemed to fluctuate in this moment, not blacking out, but not exactly clear either.

He knew he was losing his control.

The burning hatred was taking over, banishing his thoughts one by one. Fists clenched tight, so tight that his nails pinched into his palm, drawing blood.

He remembers the mages laughing, harsh and cruel, barely distinguishable over the blood roaring in his ears. Jeering, boisterous mocking. There was that one sentence, the one that pushed him too close to the edge.

"What are you gonna do, Salamander?" He'd instantly recognized the voice, belonging to the one bearing the bloodied sword.

Vision turned red, breathing heavy, body tense but shaking, hands itching to rip and tear to bits. A growl escaped from his throat. Natsu grit his teeth together, seething.

_'She's not dead! She wouldn't die just like that! Concentrate! She might still be alive!'_

There was a small voice in the back of his mind, as tiny as it was, speaking volumes against his frayed thoughts.

_"Kill them all."_

In retrospect, Natsu realized it was _his_ voice.

Suddenly, recollection came in spasmodic intervals. Blank, white voids disturbing the sequence, like his mind didn't want him to see what happened in those moments.

There was a manic roar from him. He had lunged forward, fire engulfing his body.

_A blank_...

His anger burning, blazing, consuming him, coursing through his veins like liquid fire. People running, attacking him. The dissonance mixing with the cacophony of battle sounds.

It was like an out-of-body experience; he'd never felt so disconnected from himself.

He just didn't feel _anything_.

_Another blank_...

The stench of burning skin filled the air, and he relished in it. Blood everywhere, especially on him. He loved it much more than he would have admitted. There were screams; panicked, frightened, pained. Like music to his ears.

With a twisted sense of glee, he could tell he was _destroying_ these people.

_There was another blank, this time longer_.

Lucy was still on the ground, but Erza and Gray were there. _When did they get there?_

A small part of his mind wondered where Happy was, too.

They were yelling, screaming for him to stop.

He found that he didn't want to.

They began pulling him back, pinning him to the ground, still yelling. He was struggling, hissing, clawing at air, trying to get free. He wanted them all dead! Why were they stopping him?!

There was a man in the distance, Natsu noticed. He blinked once, twice. The man was limping, trying to run away. He recognized him again. He snarled.

He broke free of his comrade's grip, running.

_Another blank..._

They were fighting him to the ground again, and he was screaming, screeching, roaring.

_"They killed her! __**They killed her!**__"_

_"Who's dead?! Who did they kill?!" _the person's voice was frantic and strained.

He continued his frenzied spasms, he wanted vengeance, and they were stopping him. The same person-_Erza_, he believed- yelled something to Gray, and there was less weight on him. He tried even harder- kicking and punching nothing. There was more pushing him down, suddenly, and he could hear Gray's voice._  
_

_"She's okay! She's ok-"_

And then placid darkness.

* * *

When his eyes opened, Natsu was staring at a bright white ceiling. It burned, and with a small groan he shut it out. Blinking a few times, he was able to tolerate it, and he finally opened his eyes fully. He was laying on something soft, and when he turned his head to look around, he realized he was in a white room. Body hurting, tired and sluggish, he managed to sit up, but dizziness pushed him back to the bed. His head was pounding, but he forced himself to sit up.

He looked around the room, noticing an IV in his arm, and bandages. He pulled the crisp white sheet off himself and looked down at the bandages.

_What happened to him?_

He was in a fight- no, a _job_, it was. He ran ahead of Lucy... He was fighting someone... Lucy... Lucy... **_Lucy._**

The memories slammed into him, and he stiffened. Did she... No, she _couldn't_ have. He had just promised to protect her and she already...?!

Suddenly, a faint but beautiful scent came to him. He recognized it immediately, his nose twitching in response.

"No..." he jumped out of his bed, dashing towards the door. He practically tore the door open, scaring the nearby nurses and doctors. He ignored the way his muscles screamed in protest, and the way his left leg had trouble moving. He didn't notice the IV that was yanked out of his arm with the amount of forced he used to open the door.

He'd definitely smelled it.

Natsu tore down the hall, ignoring the shouts from nurses and doctors to _'get back in bed!'_ and_ 'stop running!'_. He just kept going, trying to find that scent that stood out against the antiseptic and blood. The scent stronger, he'd made it to the end of the long hall, where there was a three way intersection. Turning to the right, where it came even stronger, he made it to a door in the middle of the corridor. It seeped through its cracks of this room. He all but wrenched the door open, and there was where he'd found her.

Lucy.

Alive, breathing, but still sleeping.

_Thank God._

He closed the door behind him quietly, slightly embarrassed for make such a loud entrance while she was so peaceful. He collapsed into the chair next to her bed, his previous energy drained and the pain coming back. He stared at her as she slept peacefully, not awoken by his loud entrance. There was a thick bandage around her head, all other treated injuries hidden by the sterile hospital blankets covering her. A heart monitor beeped steadily, and I.V in the skin of the back of her hand. Her chest rose and fell with even breaths, a stark contrast as her condition from...

...Wait, when _was_ that?

He glanced around the room, taking note of the night outside the window, and the calendar that told him it was the next day. Had he really been out for that long? He turned to stare at the sleeping girl.

He'd watched her _die_ yesterday!

_How was she here?!_

Was it all in his head?! Had he really been so out of it that night that he thought she had died before his eyes?! What the-?!

He ruffled his hair furiously, feeling stupid. He'd been so... so _afraid_ that she would die, that his mind made him see just that. He didn't believe it himself, and when he'd watched her fall to the ground, fell into a panic-induced hallucination. When he thought about, now that his mind was less jumbled, he realized that her injuries weren't to that extent.

... He was probably just saying that to make himself feel more at ease.

The door behind him opened, and nurse entered, dragging an odd contraption.

"Ah," she said after noticing him," Mr. Dragneel?!" she crossed the room to him, fretting.

"You shouldn't be out of bed! What are you doing over here?!"

Natsu blinked in a clueless manner."I'm...visiting... Lucy?" he said awkwardly, sounding more like he was asking. The nurse, whose name tag read 'Cora', pushed the wheeled monitor behind his chair, then grabbed his arm gently.

"Come now, you have to go back to your room," she said, tugging his arm lightly. He didn't budge, frowning at the brown-haired nurse.

"Why?"

"Because you haven't fully healed yet!" she wailed. tugging his arm again.

"But I feel fine!" he retorted indignantly, pulling his arm from her grasp. Though that was a complete lie- his body still ached- he wanted to stay with Lucy. After a few more tries at getting him out of the room, Cora sighed frustratedly, reaching behind him and grabbing her weird machine. She rolled it to the other the other side of Lucy's bed, and took out an odd pad-like object that was attached to a coiled hose. Unstrapping the velcro he didn't know was there, she wrapped the thing around Lucy's arm.

"What're you doing?" came Natsu's innocent question.

Her eyes concentrated, Cora pressed a button on the monitor at the top of the machine, and the sound of air hissing filled the room.

"I'm checking her blood pressure."

Natsu hummed, watching with curious eyes as the arm band expanded, tightening around Lucy's bicep. It stopped, and the nurse read something off the monitor, grabbing a clipboard in the basket underneath it. She scribbled some things, and the pink-haired boy suddenly realized.

"By the way, how do you know my name?"

Without looking up, the brown-haired nurse responded,"I'm your nurse as well as Ms. Heartfilia's."

"So then, do you know how I got here?"

She glanced up briefly."Well, yes, but do you want to hear it all?"

"What do you mean?"

She put the clipboard back in the basket, looking at him."Well, when you came in, you definitely weren't a pretty sight. I've worked here for quite a while, and I'm sure I have never seen more blood on a person than on you last night, Mr. Dragneel."

She grabbed a new I.V bag from the basket, preparing to replace it the one already hooked up to Lucy.

"When I asked how you lost consciousness, your friend-with the red hair- told me she had to knock you out"

_'Not surprised,'_ Natsu thought, and Cora continued, concentrating on her task while speaking.

"When we got you on the gurney, you woke up and started screaming and thrashing. You even started crying! I wasn't sure why..."

Natsu's eyes widened.

"We didn't want to knock you out with force, so we gave you sedative. After that, we cleaned you up. Though I was kinda confused, because, while you did have some serious injuries, you were almost covered in blood. The injuries didn't match with the blood."

The dragon-slayer tensed, nervous suddenly. Cora finished re-administering the I.V, and she turned to him.

"Are you feeling okay now?"

He nodded slowly and, after picking up her supplies, the woman left him to his thoughts.

What had happened to him, in those blanks? There had to be something there, something must have happened at those points in time! Maybe it was something his mind didn't want him to remember.

After a while, he shrugged, leaning forward to rest his head in his arms, leaning on the bed.

He fell into a restless sleep with a horrid nightmare.

* * *

_He was in the middle of the forest, at night. He snarled as something hit the back of his shoulder,and he stumbled a bit. He looked back, only to see an arrow lodged there, the skin red and blood dripping slowly  
_

_It didn't hurt._

_He yanked it out, burning it in his hand, and turned to see a person, another arrow notched. He ran forward, body blazing. The next arrow came at him, but his fire was so hot it burned before it could touch him._

_He reached the person and grabbed their neck with one hand._

_He mercilessly snapped it._

_He threw the person over his shoulder, just as another person came at him. He whirled around, kicking the man's ribs. The sound of bone cracking echoed, and a grin came to his face._

_Another person, a woman, came jumping after, and he gouged his arm into her stomach._

_Some of the mages were backing away, terrified._

_He slaughtered people one by one, their screams ringing out, their blood splattering. His laughing was incessant and maniacal. He;d completely lost all sense of control, his body responding as his mind could not. He temporarily forgot the cause of it all, and his entire being was focused on killing these mages gruesomely. His mind was blank, all thoughts gone in place a dark, primal blood lust.  
_

_He _enjoyed_ this._

_There was a man under his sandal-clad foot, writhing at the weight on his head. He was begging, crying out, his sobs almost incoherent. The insane man smirked down at him, covered in blood. His pearly white teeth stood out against his crimson-drenched skin, and his crazed, dark eyes bore holes, glittering with anger and sadistic amusement.  
_

_A _terrifying_ sight to behold.  
_

_"P-P-Please, don't do this!" the poor man's voice desperate, face fearful, crying openly.  
_

_Natsu's smirk widened, grin demonic, eyes insane, body ablaze, and mind vacant.  
_

_He picked his foot up, and brought it down hard._

* * *

**(A/N): Okay.**

**This was supposed to come out loooooong time ago, but I just didn't get it out. This isn't exactly the best chapter I've written so far, but it's better than what I had for this before.**

**School has officially ended for me, guys! I'm happy, because I can get more to writing and stuff. In fact, I have a few scenes for later in the story already written, so those will be easy. As for what will come in between, I'm not sure, but I will work something out.**

**Anyway, I'm posting this at 3 A.M (Eastern Daylight Time; I live in Queens, N.Y)**

**Oh, before I go, I have to address something important.**

**You see that part, when Natsu realizes he had imagined her not breathing. Well, there are two things about that. One: I didn't have it in my heart to kill the sweet girl off. Two: Have you ever thought something so... intense, that you felt like it was going on right now. Like, if you had a bad dream of someone dying, and you go see them, and panic when it looks like they weren't moving. Well, this happened once to me, which is why I included it. I had a nightmare that my mom died before my eyes, so I ran to her room. I thought she wasn't breathing, so I shook her awake.**

**The brain makes you imagine the worst, but it's just part of being human, which is also why I put it there. Natsu may be strong, but his own mind can make him vulnerable. Keep that in mind, it'll show up soon.**

**Please don't hate me for this!**

**Now to watch some Durarara!**

**~Cool Noodles in Awesome Sauce~**


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